30 x 30 Lessons Learned

A few weeks ago, I turned 30! I’ve been reflecting on my 20’s and it was an amazing time of growth and wild adventures. Here are just 30 things (because I definitely learned more!) that I learned from stumbling, fumbling and dancing through life:

1.       Your intuition never lies. Even if it says what you don’t want to hear or it doesn’t make sense to you right then, TRUST it and ACT on it. You will thank it later when you learn what it saved you from and/or what it blessed you with.
2.       Your body is your temple, take pride in it by keeping it healthy, feeding it well and giving it proper exercise
3.       There’s a pot for every lid. You don’t have to look like Beyonce, have “good” hair or have a fat ass to be considered beautiful, don’t drink that kool-aid. There’s more than one type of beauty, stand tall in yours, someone’s checking for it!
4.       A life without (some) risk involved, is risky. Most things you truly want in life involve stepping out on faith and taking a chance

5.       Time and money are formless, intangible things;  it’s a mindset. If you have the right mindset, you can swim in your money if you want and have time for everything.
6.       God is real, the spirit world is real, good and bad energies are real and “the other side” is real. We are all interconnected and the more aware and in tune we become, the higher your spirit will evolve.
7.       You teach people how to treat you
8.       Don’t feed into the bullshit that being a nice person equals being a weak person. Just be confident as well so that you will not let anyone come in and derail you or use you
9.       You have total control over how you choose to feel about or react to anything in your life. Don’t give that power to anything or anyone else.
10.   Your thoughts and feelings DO matter, speak up and share what’s on your mind in a HEALTHY way. If someone made you feel a certain, sit them down and tell them. Don’t bottle things up, let them come out in a healthy forum.
11.   Self expression through whatever it is that you are passionate about (writing trashy romance novels, dancing in your underwear in the bathroom, reciting history on Star Wars figurines…) is a necessity for your spirit
12.   Love is an action, not a result. Love because that’s what you feel not because you want or expect it to give you something in return. Love will NOT solve your problems but it will inspire and motivate you and bring you the helpful resources you need to solve them.
13.   Only you can solve your own problems. A man, money, an opportunity or material things cannot resolve your past, insecurities, feelings of unhappiness, etc. Only you, internally, can fix that.
14.   You were BORN with all the tools you need for success. Look inside yourself and USE them.
15.   Your life is what you make it or perceive it to be. You can feel rich or poor, it’s really your choice. No matter how horrific your experiences, you can be a victim or victor. The choice is yours, choose wisely.
16.   Your love can’t over power someone’s free will. Don’t love too hard, just love how your spirit leads you to. Loving too hard won’t keep someone that doesn’t want to be there in the first place and it won’t change an outcome to what you want it to be. If someone wants to be in your life, they will be; no begging, pleading or over loving needed.
17.   “When it’s over, it’s over, let it be the end. What it’s over, it’s over, let it be.”- Stacey Barthe We don’t always want things that we feel are good to end but you’ve gotta let go. If you’re meant to have it, it will find its way back to you. If not, something even better will find you. :-)
18.   A man’s actions say way more than his words ever will. Pay close attention
19.   It’s in a man’s innate makeup to hunt so let him! He has to earn your greatness. Any man that objects to this, excuse my French, is a piece of shit in my opinion or had no real guidance on how to be a real man. Let him go immediately. You are worth it. If he’s not willing to put in the work, he needs to be erased from the scene
20.   A man cannot do anything without a woman’s permission. He needs our green light take us out on date, kiss us, sleep with us, be our man or have our hand in marriage. Know your power and use it wisely
21.   Those “poor, great guys that are unhappy in their relationships” will bitch about her, but will never leave her. Don’t get tangled in his web, he’s not really a great guy anyway. If the relationship’s so bad, why doesn’t he ever leave it? Let his “awful” girlfriend/wife keep him and his mess. You deserve more.
22.   No matter how great of woman you are, you will NEVER be enough if he’s not ready. If he’s not ready, let him go.
23.   The truth isn’t always pretty but you’ve gotta face it and deal with it. You won’t have to run anymore after you do. Stop running and turn around to face your problems, fears, etc and wipe them out for good. Many times they’re not a monstrous as you thought.
24.   You ARE NOT PERFECT, identify and own up to your part in things and hold yourself accountable.
25.   Don’t beat yourself up about your mistakes, just LEARN from them and do better
26.   The “American Dream” can kiss my ass (I’m American by the way). Americans glorify working themselves into the ground until they die to make money to spend on things. We fed the kool-aid to work all the time, amass things/toys then die. I want a quality life where I worked but it was for more than just existing and having nice things. I want more than “good” hair, Instagram fame, a closet full of clothes and shoes, and an AMEX black card. I want a life with a career that fulfills my purpose and passions and I get to enjoy life, travel (and not on business), spend time with my family and friends and share my resources with others in need. I’ll take the “Milan Staples Dream” for 500, Alex.
27.   Don’t be fooled, people have time and money for the things that they deem a priority.
28.   In spite of all your dilemmas and frustrations, you always have something to be thankful for. Keep it all in perspective and give thanks eagerly along your journey to greatness
29.   If you say you can, you can. If you say you can’t, then you can’t. Your thoughts are powerful and attract good or bad things. If you want a good life, you’re thoughts and words better be about good and positive things.
30.   We’re children and extensions of God. We truly do have super powers like our “daddy”. Use them wisely.

31.   Any expert or seasoned professional had to start from somewhere. They weren’t fabulous overnight. Through time, practice and making mistakes they grew better and better into the greatness that they are now and you can too.
32.   Don’t compare yourself to others, you know NOTHING about  what their journey is about. What’s for you is for you.


Anonymous said…
Great list of advice and beautiful picture <3
Happy Dirty 30...lol
Anonymous said…
Love the blog, and Happy Belated, turning 30 is a beautiful thing. And, I agree GOD is so real, and He is so awesome.
Shevonn said…
I loved reading this. happy belated birthday!