Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Stop Kissing Corpses

Summer 2012 (September-ish?) Humidity shrunken twist out

One of my friends, Sheena, recently wrote a really good post the start of this year titled, "The Relationship is Dead. Stop Kissing It." She challenged readers to stop being necrophiliacs towards relationships that can't be or shouldn't be resurrected or resuscitated.

Those of you who didn't google it already are wondering, "what is a necrophiliac?" Well, a brief definition of a necrophiliac is someone who is sexually attracted to corpses, aka dead bodies. Gross, right? In this context, it's a person who romanticizes a dead relationship. Most of the time, the relationship ended because you weren't equally yolked but you haven't let go because A) are/were hopeful that things will magically change, B) YOU will/would magically inspire the person to change, C) don't think there is anyone better (comparing new people to your ex or first love, etc) or D) are scared to move on and start over.

I finally buried a corpse of my own, completely, recently. No more digging it back up or keeping it above ground. Two and a half years ago, I ended the relationship because we weren't on the same page. I was in love with him, saw him in my future and wanted to continue the natural progression to something more serious. He told me he saw me in his future but didn't know when. I knew in my heart staying around until he was sure wasn't a guarantee that I would go riding off into the sunset with him. He could be figure it out in 10 years and decide it's not me. Did I really want to live my life waiting on someone else to possibly feel what I felt for them right now? Man, please. I told him I couldn't wait for him to figure it out, wished him well and I walked. That was 2.5 years ago. While I didn't regret my decision, I proceeded to lament over this corpse and the "hope" that he would get it together and come for me soon after I walked away. It wasn't until when the end of last year, like Sheena, I had to take my own advice that I had given a friend.

When we don't move on from things that we know in our heart that we need to totally let go of, it's fear. Fear can really do a number on you and paralyze you if you enable it. In my case, I told myself that our connection was so special and that I'd never find that again with someone, it had to be him. I was french kissing this corpse out of fear. Fear in a way, that he was the best that I would ever have. This mindset paralyzed me from being open to meeting new people and being open to falling in love again. Yes, our connection was special and of course I won't have that exact same connection with another man bc maybe I'm meant to experience an even BETTER one with a man that is ready, feels the same way about me that I do about him and WANTS to marry me. I couldn't let fear of the unknown stop me from living so I had let go all the way this time. I felt lighter almost immediately and ready to work on myself and be open to the possibilities. While I haven't met THE ONE yet, I have been meeting men and enjoying getting to know them and what they're about. I'm open to loving again if it's right. I'm not a prisoner to the cemetery anymore.

I know it's scary moving on in life because it's change and it could make things bad but it could make things even better. More often times then not, it makes things better. No one said it would be easy to move on to a better place emotionally and all but anything, a healthy and LIVING relationship, worth having is a little challenging. We wouldn't appreciate anything good if we didn't have to earn it some kind of way. Do you want to exist or do you want to live? If you are making out with a corpse out of fear or comfort, let it go. It's. Dead. As Tamar Braxton says, "get your life." It can only go up from here if you stay to true to what you want and choose life over death. I'm choosing life, what about you?

Is there a corpse that you need to stop kissing?

Monday, January 21, 2013

2013 Hair WorkOut Plan

So my basic work out plan for my hair this year is: leave it the hell alone. The Crown & Glory Method (utilizing twists) is in full affect and I've decided to make it a part of my lifestyle. My hair strands are fine, coily and frequent manipulation stunts it from reaching its full potential. If I want waist length hair, the key for me will be to preserve it better by leaving it alone 99% of the time. So far this year, I've been rocking the mess out of loose twists and I plan to keep rocking them consistently until the summer. I may take a couple breaks in between but even those will be protective styles like buns and up-do's.

What I'm Adding Back:

  • ACV Rinses
  • Monthly or bi-monthly henna glosses
  • my Homemade hair cleanser- started back again in November

What I'm Trying:

What I Started Trying the End of Last Year and is Working:

Do I plan to do the whole length checking thing? Maybe. I more than likely will just take some progress pictures between now and summer or take a starting picture and then a picture the start of the summer.

Do you have a workout plan for your hair? Do you plan to do anything different for 2013 to ensure you reach any hair goals that you've created for yourself?

Stay naturally fly,

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Loose Twists- Another Round

Hey Kurlies. After three weeks, I finally took my loose twists down last weekend and since I really don't want to bother my hair this whole winter season, I put another set right back in. I want to keep them in for 4 weeks. I fully blew out my hair this time to see more length. I conditioned my hair with Yes to Cucumbers conditioner and sealed it with EVOO, cleansed with my homemade hair cleanser, did an ACV rinse and applied Earth's Nectar Conditioning Hair Cream to my hair once it was damp (not sopping wet). Then I blew my hair out in sections and twisted it up. Guys, I'm totally turned out by loose twists, they give me a fuller look and look better on me in my opinion. They also can be done quickly, it took me two hours to complete- that's the duration of a good Lifetime network movie. I will probably never do tight twists like I used to do [and all but hated] ever again.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Winter Hair Fun // Wet Sets

I have wet sets on the brain. I'm seriously contemplating wet setting my hair next after I take out my loose twists this upcoming weekend. The longer my hair gets the more I become about that less is more life. My hair responds eagerly to being left the hell alone; hairstyles that mind my ends and I can leave in uninterrupted for at least a week work wonders for me. In my relaxed days, I was able to maintain my length/growth to reach BSL wet setting exclusively.

They are easy to do, look great, last for at least a week doing little to nothing to them and look better and better as the set gets older; my favorite day of a wet set is usually the 3rd or 4th day when the curls have relaxed some and have more body. I do flexi rod sets the least on my hair but I like how pretty those kinds of sets come out so I may step out my comfort zone and experiment with them. Naptural85 has a great flexi rod how to video; so do Chary Jay (she twists her hair first and then rolls them on the flexis) and KaiRox146. I have always loved WestNDNBeauty's video sharing how she does her braid-n-curl wet sets. The latter is the direction that I think I'm headed in to try first.

Any of you into wet sets? What kinds do you do, prefer, "specialize" in?  

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Reading for the Hair

So I finally got around to buying The Science of Black Hair, recently, to read. I was proud to see a book dedicated to the science of textured hair properties, structure and care in such depth when it first came out. This book has received so many rave reviews so I downloaded it on my Kindle over the Holiday break but still haven't started really reading it just yet. I'm reading The 4-Hour Workweek right now (which is rocking my world) so when I finish it, I will get started on this.

Have any of you read it? I will share my thoughts once I've completed it.

Stay naturally fly

Friday, January 4, 2013

The Finger Comber Unit

I first learned of the Finger Comber Unit from Nneka of Darker Than Brown. Man never ceases to amaze me. What will we come up with next? Ok, so those who aren't in the know, this is an afro texture wig that you can rock in two strand twists or take the twists down to wear it in a twist out. THe unit actually arrives to you in two strand twists. How friggin clever! I am no stranger to wearing wigs in the cold months to give my hair a rest from time to time so this definitely has my attention.

What do you think? Would you buy one? 

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

New Years Hair

What did you do for New Years? I went to my kurlfriend, Kat's family's New Years party. I wore my hair hair in loose twists to bring in the new year. I've been rocking this set, done on lightly blown out hair (I will fully blow out my hair next time), since the Sunday before Christmas. This was my first time doing loose twists and I love them. I didn't take many pics of them or the process because I wasn't sure how I would like them. Loose twists are a great styling option for us ladies with hair this isn't thick, like mine (I have medium density), or thin. It gives our twists more body and they don't look anorexic like if you twist tight. I will be taking them down this week so I can wash my hair and do them again. I will take more detailed pictures then so you can see them better.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year!

{Image Source: Dry Icons}

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year! I'm supre excited for 2013. I hope you all have been having a wonderful holiday season and are revved up to make 2013 better than 2012. I am pumped and ready to work SMART this year so that I will be more effective and have more time to relax yet make more money. My theme and mantra for 2013 is "work SMART". The 4-Hour Workweek has me pumped!

I said I would blog over the Holiday break and that SO didn't happen. I lugged my computer all the way to Cincinnati and never even took it out of the computer bag once! I just needed to recharge and I got to do that so I'm thankful for the break and the time spent with my family and good friends. Now it's time to let the 2013 adventures begin!



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